Endings

We have experienced a lot of endings this week. I cannot help but feel overwhelmed by sadness. It started last week. I received a call from my mother telling me my grandfather was killed in a car accident. I was completely shocked, he was 89 and in great health. I have never been close to my grandfather, my mother has a strange and turbulent relationship with most of her immediate family members and we have not spent a lot of time with them growing up and now, with the exception of her sister.

I decided that just Charlotte and I would make the trip to New Jersey for his funeral. It was Ashley and Peyton's last week of school, so I did not want them to miss one single day. We rode to New Jersey with my parents and sister. Charlotte screams in the car, so it was a long ride there and back. We stayed with my aunt, along with my sister. It was so nice to spend time with her and with my parents and sister. It was also nice to see my other family and they got the chance to meet Charlotte. I think my favorite part of the week was taking care of just one child! It has been almost 3 years since I have only had one. Here is a picture of one of the few times Charlotte was smiling in the car.

It was the end of Ashley's preschool career. I know she had an extra year since I held her back, but I am still sad. She had such a wonderful experience this year and has really thrived. I am so nervous for kindergarten. She does better with a smaller class and a lot of nurturing from her teachers. I wish she could stay with her current class and Mrs. Lawson and Mrs. Green forever!

Ashley had a field trip the morning of her last day of school at a local farm. She and her friends got to see horses, chickens and turkeys and eat their snack by a pretty lake. I went with her and enjoyed seeing her interact with her friends and also enjoyed chatting with the other moms.

It was also Peyton's last day of preschool. Since I could not be in two places at one time, I missed his end of the year party. I hate that. But I figure Ashley would remember me being there and he would not. I love his preschool and it is probably good I was not there because I would just be sad he is not going there next year. I have decided to send him to the same preschool Ashley goes to next year because it is right across the street from our house and it is four mornings a week. Sadly, I did not get a picture of Peyton with his wonderful teachers, Miss Debbie and Miss Sonja. Hopefully Charlotte will have the opportunity to go there when she is two years old.

But the biggest ending and the one I am the most sad about is the end of my maternity leave. Words cannot express how happy I have been these past 10 weeks. Yes, there have been difficult moments, times I thought "what the heck am I doing?" and wanted to pull my hair out. But the majority of the time, I have loved being home with my sweet babies. I have enjoyed this maternity leave so much more than my short leave with Ashley and my leave with Peyton. I still have one week left and we are headed to the beach. I planned to go back to work at 11 weeks, June 3rd, but with the surprise trip to New Jersey, I think I will go back on Wednesday the 5th. My mom is going to help with Charlotte that week and I have hired a college student to help starting on the 10th. My former nanny is closing her center and she has no interest in coming to the house and watching the kids, so I had to find someone else. I am nervous about that and I am nervous about feeding Charlotte. She does not take bottles and I don't make enough milk to nurse her and pump a stash to feed her when I am work. But I guess that is not enough of a reason to quit my job ;-)

I am grateful for my flexible work situation, but a big part of me wishes I did not have to go back. I don't enjoy my job and it is going to be hard for me to leave Charlotte. I just don't see how we can make it work without me brining in some income, at least for right now because we have some extra bills and a big car payment. I spoke with my co-worker about having the option to work from home in August when Ashley and Peyton are in school right near the house and she said it would never be an option to work from home, we have to come in the office. So I have no idea what I will do come August, I also don't have anyone to watch Charlotte. I am hoping we can save some money and tighten up our spending so I have more options in a couple months.

It really is amazing to me how attached I become to schools and people and then in the blink of an eye, the school year is over and the teachers, kids and moms you saw every day just become a memory. It is the story of my life, with moving so much, but I guess it is just life. Right now I am anxiously waiting to hear if Ashley got into year round kindergarten. Word on the street is one kid did not get in, hoping and praying it is not Ashley. For now, I will just focus on our week at Carolina Beach, that seems like a good place to spend the end of May.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end".

Two Months

On May 18th, Charlotte turned two months old. She had her two month checkup and she is 10 pounds, 10 ounces (37th percentile) and 21 3/4 inches tall (18th percentile). She is petite, but the doctor was happy with her growth. She did great at her appointment, she was smiling and cooing and the doctor commented on how attentive she was. She is such a good baby. She is interacting a lot more with us, she smiles a lot! The only time she gets really upset is when she is hungry, tired or riding in her car seat. I am hoping she will outgrow that soon! She is still exclusively breastfeeding, I have tried pumping, but I hate it and don't get much milk when I do. I have no idea what I am going to do when I go back to work. I have no issues with formula, but I am so happy I have not had to give her any and I hate to start just because of work. She naps great in her swing and sleeps next to me in her rock and play at night. She will normally do a 6 hour stretch, wake up to nurse and then go back to sleep for another 2-3 hours. Here are some pictures:

Pool Time!

After living in Pinehurst for nearly 8 years, we finally got a Pinehurst Country Club membership. I have coveted one of these for years, but they have been impossible to come by unless you have a home or a lot with a membership attached. I had been so desperate to get one, I had even looked into buying a cheap lot that had a membership just to get one. I am so glad that never worked out because Pinehurst ran an amazing special earlier this year in order to boost membership and get a younger "vibe" at their club. Well, it worked! I know several families that joined and we are loving the pool! We have access to the Carolina Hotel pool and it is amazing, I am sure I will enjoy it more next summer when Charlotte is not so little. We have access to 3 other pools as well as Pinehurst Lake and marina. Here are pictures of Ashley and Peyton on our first trip to the Carolina Hotel pool.

Mother's Day

We enjoyed a nice Mother's Day in Raleigh with my parents, sister and brother in law. This was my first Mother's Day as the mother of three! I was able to get a run in before we went to church. I want to get back into running, but it is hard to find the time when Ryan is home and can watch the other kids, so normally it is just on the weekends. After church, we headed to Raleigh. Here are some pictures after church and at my parents' home.

 

More Pictures

Here are more pictures of Charlotte. I realized there are no pictures of me with her, except for the ones of me holding her in the baby k'tan. I need to get some pictures of me with my sweet girl!

 

Big Boy Haircut

I finally caved and let Ryan take Peyton to his barber for a haircut. I had been taking Peyton to my hairdresser, but after a lot of bugging from Ryan, I agreed that Peyton could go to the barber. I did a double take when he got home. Where did my two year old go?

One Month!

Charlotte turned one month old on April 18th. She is seven weeks old today and I feel like I blinked and the past seven weeks are gone! She is a sweet baby, she does get very fussy (screams!) in the car and when she gets overtired. She can go from happy and smiling to screaming in about 2 seconds flat. She is still nursing really well but has started spitting/throwing up A LOT recently, so I am a little concerned about that. She sleeps the first part of the night in our room in her rock and play, she will normally do a six hour stretch, but last week she did an 8.5 hour stretch and then the next night a 9.5 hour stretch. It is funny, all three of my kids did this around 6 weeks. It is a fluke, but was nice to get some extra sleep (but quite painful for me!). She hated taking baths until I started taking a bath with her in the big tub and now she loves it. She is smiling a lot and cooing. She is very alert and looks around. Peyton and Ashley want to smother her all the time, they want to hug and love on her, so I have to keep an eye on them. Overall, we are doing well but I am somewhat dreading going back to work. We have a pretty good routine/schedule and I don't know how it will work if I am not here. Also, she does not get bottles, I only nurse, so I have no clue how to make that work. I need to get a pump and store some milk for her but when will I find the time to pump? Here are some pictures from one month:

Sickness

We are all getting over sickness in the Douglas family. It started with an ear infection for Ashley. She rarely gets sick, but went from playing normally to screaming in pain in less than an hour. Of course, it was a Sunday, so I had to take her to urgent care. Here is a pic of her before we went to Urgent Care

Then two days later, she starts throwing up, she won't get out of bed and we can't get her to drink anything. So we go back to the doctor and her ear is still bad, so the doctor puts her on a different antibiotic. Then the next day, Peyton starts throwing up. You know he feels bad if he sleeps on the floor on or Riley!

It was a nasty bug! You would think you were better and a couple days later, you would get sick again. I got it about a week after Ashley. Ryan managed to avoid it, I think, because he was out of town for work for three days. My parents came to help me while he was gone and they both got it, poor things! And our nanny got it. I definitely think Charlotte had it too, she was throwing up/spitting up a lot more than normal and she still is. Hopefully everyone is on the mend!